I write to you to share a never give up on your child moment that no parent wants to experience. A few years ago, my son decided to move out with some questionable friends.
I continued my mission of being a concerned parent. I reached out to him by calling him and texting him. My son would not respond back to me that often, if at all.
I would resend those same messages to him over and over again. Those messages were messages of love, concern, not condemnation.
Eventually, those messages became void all I could do was pray that he would be kept safe from harm.
Prior To My Son Moving Out
Prior to my son moving out I was in a relationship with a man that I was to marry. Soon after my son decided to stay away and eventually my son and his friends came to pick his stuff up.
Because, my soon to be husband had a truck we helped my son move his larger items to his friends. This gave me an opportunity to know where he was residing at one point and the friends he was residing with.
As time went on I continually reached out to my son out of concern and because I cared. I was trying to make time for him each and every week even if it was inviting him to go out to eat. I wanted my son to know he is loved and he can come to me anytime and I will be there for him.
Eventually, the poor choices caught up with my son. He had several tickets from when he was riding his street bike, these tickets turned into unpaid tickets, those unpaid tickets turned to court time and then the inability for my son to pay for his tickets turned to work project. During this time my son got his prior job back and he forgot or choose not to do work project. Since, he didn’t do work project, it landed him in jail for a couple of days. I never gave up on my son.
During, my sons jail time, I asked God to grab a hold of my son and show him he is meant for more in life then the motorcycle club he was caught up in.
When my son served his time and was released from jail, his biological father picked him up. His father and step-mother had gone to the jail to visit him. I never went to see him. Why you ask? Because, I didn’t want to see him in jail. I wanted him to feel the pain of someone not being present when they are feeling at their lowest.
So, I guess you could say I was being judgmental. But, it pained me to see him behind bars. I thought, if I go see him and if he continues to make the choices he is making. I wanted to make my self clear and tell him I wouldn’t visit him in jail or in prison.
Lunch Together Was My Hope and Inspiration
Eventually we had lunch together, which was a day or two after his release from jail. My son asked why didn’t you come and see me in jail? You must not love me, if you did love me you would have come to see me in jail. Reassured him that I loved him and that I didn’t want to see him locked up.
Feeling like I would be condoning his behavior and his choices and my wanting him to have the time to repent and think about things and the direction he was headed. I knew the time he had to serve was not long lived (a couple of days).
My son shared with me that this was something he never wanted to experience again. He shared many more things with me and he continues to share things with me that have happened.
My Mission Is To Never Give Up
I continued my mission of being a parent that loved my son. I continued to text and call him when he had moved out.
One week when I had to travel out of town for work, I had great difficulty sleeping for two nights. I kept having bad dreams about my son. Then, off topic my sister called me about health concerns for our mom. So, I texted my son about this…didn’t hear from him for a few days.
The Phone Call – Never Give Up On Them!
Then the phone call came in, where my son was on the other end asking for help. He was trying to self medicate. My son was having withdrawals and having suicidal thoughts. I prayed for him and asked where he was at the time, he said I am on my way to you. He said he was okay to drive, so we talked on the phone till he got to me. I continued praying that he would arrive safely to my doorstep and I prayed that he would follow through with getting help by heading to emergency. When my son arrived. I met him in the front of the house. He got out of the car and came and hugged me, cried, sobbed, shared his thoughts and his feelings and off to the hospital we went. He thanked me because I never gave up on my pursuit to be there for him.
Never Give Up On Your Children!
Being human we immediately want to judge, accuse and vent. I choose to show my son unconditional love.
Hope and Inspiration